Understanding your feelings

Living with any long-term medical condition, you are more likely to be confronted regularly by a range of emotions – frustration, fear, resentment, anger, pain, vulnerability. Emotions are powerful and can be very complicated. Learning to identify and manage these emotions is very important and can be very liberating.

Distinguishing between feelings associated with arthritis and feelings associated with the highs and lows of day to day living is important. It’s natural enough – particularly soon after a diagnosis – to blame everything on arthritis, but in allowing arthritis to direct all your emotions you are allowing arthritis to control you. Self-management is about regaining control of arthritis as just one part of who you are.

Express yourself

Writing in a journal, or talking to somebody can be an incredibly helpful release valve on your emotional boiler. Bottling emotions up will increase pressure and can be very destructive. Sharing your feelings can be enlightening – you may not have recognised you feel a certain way until you hear the words coming out of your mouth. Talking to friends, family members, a health professional or someone with arthritis (or who knows about arthritis) can be very reassuring.

Arthritis Care’s helpline is a free, confidential service, providing emotional and practical support and information by phone (in 150 languages) by letter and email. You can call between 10am-4pm, Monday-Friday on 0808 800 4050.

Relax

Living with arthritis is stressful, so it important to learn to relax. Distraction techniques such as a hobby, enjoyable activity or simply talking to a friend can be very beneficial. Other tools, like breathing exercises, meditation or therapy also provide excellent support, which can help you find calm.

You don’t need to be diagnosed with depression to see a therapist or speak to a counsellor. Your GP, social worker or citizens advice bureau may be able to tell you about local counselling services. If you have feelings of depression, your GP will also be able to talk you through other options, such as short-term treatment with anti-depressants.

Relationships

Having arthritis – and the emotional implications of it – introduces an extra level of complexity in relationships with friends and partners. Confidence, feelings of desirability with a sexual partner and physical problems associated with it need to be discussed. Our booklets Coping with Emotions and Relationships, Intimacy and Arthritis, can help you tackle some of these issues, and help you to progress with them.

You are not alone

Support from friends and family is vital, and not just when you are feeling down. Someone to have a chat to and laugh with, who will also support you when times are hard is very valuable. You may not know anyone else with arthritis, but talking through your experiences with other people who understand can be very reassuring. You can join our online community and get in touch with other people who face similar challenges.